"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
