careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
