just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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