i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
