He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
