You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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