I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
