just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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