His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I forget how to act sober
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