Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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