In the future we'll all be gay
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
