love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Blow job season was short but glorious.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
