I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
