So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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