Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
