so explain again why im purple
no
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
