that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
