I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
