He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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