I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
