the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize