i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
