and you said cock pushups were impossible
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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