Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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