I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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