After last night, I could never be a politician.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
