i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
