I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
