He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
