i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
