I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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