what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
