woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
