I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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