I wanna bring you to show and tell
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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