let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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