WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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