i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
