Dual....:-)
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
