Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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