butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
