I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
