soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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