im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
