I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
