Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize