apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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