I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
