I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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