What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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