I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
