It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
