i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
