Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
