as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize