so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you had me at cake vodka
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
