it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize