I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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