And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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