I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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