I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize