Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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