Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
