Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
