I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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