I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
