I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
