you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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