Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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