I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I could fuck to npr.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
