fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
