where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
