Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize