Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize