Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
