I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
