I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I party with great urgency now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
