ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Damn victory sex feels great
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
