I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
