HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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