On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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