the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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